Seren just learned how to do laundry and was putting away 2 loads she did herself when she expressed her joy: "Daddy's shirts used to smell like nasty man B.O. but now they smell fresh and clean!"
Me: "Great job!"
Seren: "WOW, Mom! My underwear smells fresh and clean too, now THAT'S a MIRACLE!!!"
Penny: "Seren, stop cutting my Hello Kitty, and don't even think about cutting me with those scissors!"
Seren: "These scissors couldn't cut anybody, Penny. Besides, I wouldn't try to cut you, trust me."
Evy (cackles skeptical laughter): "Trust YOU??? You tried to cut out my eye once!"
Seren: "Evy, that was with a *knife*. I wouldn't try it with these scissors."
Text from my husband about our 4 year old: "Xander can't spell his name but can spell butt."
We took a trip to the coast to unwind and stayed at a motel. Evy, my 12 year old, and Xander, my 4 year old, were sharing a bed. I woke up to Xander screaming and yelling at Evy in the middle of the night, but soon fell asleep after he quit.
Mike had insomnia and explained the situation over breakfast the following morning:
Evy ripped a very loud fart while she was sleeping, which woke Xander. Xander sat bolt upright, looked around at where the loud noise came from, discovered it came from Evy and Evy had his pillow.
Xander rips the pillow right out from under Evy, then proceeds to beat Evy with it while chewing her out by screaming. Then he lays on the pillow and falls promptly asleep.
The end.
I'm so happy I helped Seren with her spelling. She kept transposing the "s" and "c" in "insect".
Xander gets out of the shower and, since he's 4, I'm helping him find his clothes. While he's waiting, he pinches his nipples and says: "I have boobies!"
I correct Xander and say: "Xander, you're a boy, those are nipples."
Xander: "Girls have boobies!"
Me: "Yup."
Xander, slaps my 'boobies' and says: "They're BIG-ANTIC!"
Seren says, "Here, mom," and attempts to hand me a candy wrapper.
Me: "I think you can handle your own garbage; do I look like I trash can to you? DON'T answer that."
Seren: "Well, it seems like a legitimate question. .."
