My Identity

After renewing my membership at Sam's Club today and getting a new card, it occurred to me that my children have become a part of my identity.  Literally, my picture on my Sam's card is a picture of me, but fairly overtaken by two smaller faces.  As I checked out, the cashier looked at the card, then at me and the kids, comparing the picture with the person carrying it and correctly concluded it was me.  Likely wouldn't recognize me without my kids.

I get my driver's license redone next year.  I wonder if it will look the same?  If I try to buy beer, will they let me check out of the grocery store if I didn't bring my kids?  I can see it now:  "I'm sorry Ma'am, but this ID doesn't match.  The person who is old enough to purchase beer according to this ID has five heads, you only have one.  We can't let you complete this transaction until you can prove your identity and your age..."  Of course, this would only happen at some place like WinCo or Walmart, where the cashier would compare my signature on my driver's license to the one on my credit card, then conclude I'm not me because the signature doesn't match up just right. 

Defeated and embarrassed, I would head back to my car and find my husband towing four children on into the store for a potty-run because the beer-run was taking too long.  After bird-dogging three girls in the bathroom, I would lead them to an empty shopping cart and make my way back to the refrigerator section.  At this point, I would no longer be interested in the beer I had to leave at the register because it is too warm.

I head back to the cashier with my cold beer and Mike offers to take the kids back to the car to wait while I check out.  Xander is fussy, Penny is twirling like a ballerina endangering every glass object around her, Seren is stripping shelves of Cheetos, Doritos and other desired items, and Evy is inquiring about the chances of checking out with the never-ending list of things she cannot live without.  Me: "No, honey, it's less hassle this way..."

The cashier scans the beer, then looks at me and my circus, and says in jest, "This is well deserved beer and you're gonna need it tonight!"  Me: "Don't you want to check my ID?  I have all five heads this time..."  Cashier: "No, Hon, you look old enough I don't need to card you." 

*Sigh*