This morning's Serenism is brought to you by: Cheez-Its!

Seren (with mouth full of cheez-its): Mommy, are cheez-its healthy?
Me: No, they aren't.  But, they taste good, so enjoy.
Seren: So, I should only have one bag a day?
Me: No, more like one bag a month...
Seren (Mouth full, and loudly sucking her fingers): Mmmmm...I could eat these ALL day!

Today's Serenism is brought to you by: tattletales...

So, we're driving home in the minivan and Evy tattles:  Mom, Seren said "Dang it."
Seren: No, I did not!
Mommy: Seren, even so, you shouldn't say "Dang it".
Seren: Mommy, I didn't say "dang it", I said "Damn it!"
Mommy: You shouldn't say that either, Seren.
*sigh*

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: Martha Stewart

I know I've said it before and, since I haven't said it in awhile I will repeat it, a "Serenism" is not always what Seren says, but it's also what she does....

So, a few weeks back, my mom gave us some crocheted potholders that she made herself.  I've not been able to put them away for our use because I can't seem to locate them.  On occasion, one will show up in the possession of a child.  Tonight, I found one attached to my child, Serenity.  I have uploaded a picture of Seren wearing the potholder as a hat, while throwing a tantrum.  Unfortunately, the irony of a picture of a hot-headed child wearing a pot-holder as a hat while throwing a tantrum is lost on her at this age...

Xanderman

Took his first two steps!  Happily, I can say that I didn't miss it.  He walked right to his mommy tonight.  I feel I miss a lot when I'm working, but I'm really happy I didn't miss that!

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by Ocean Fresh Spring Mix

Daddy: Penny, eat your lettuce.
Penny (replies with her usual response when she doesn't want to eat something): It's too spicy. 
Daddy: Uh-huh, likely story...

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by the word: Moo!

Penny: More steak, please, Daddy?
(Daddy gives Penny some steak)
Penny: Ooo! Daddy gave me her steak!
Seren: Daddy gave you HIS steak, Penny.  Now, what do you say?
Penny: GOOD STEAK!

A Penny Thought from the other night...

I hear the toilet flush. Penny runs into my room exclaiming: "It drowned! It drowned!" I ask Penny what had drowned and she answered: "I can't find it!" I send her on her merry way.

Mike insists I should get up and check it out, but like him, I was mid-beer and didn't want to ruin the occasion with what may have "drowned".

Around 20 minutes later, I hear the toilet flush again. This time I decide I should check it out. No sooner do I set my beer down to check when Evy comes running to my room and asking me just HOW her toothbrush got wet.

"Don't brush you teeth, Evy..."

Digging for gold...

Oh goodie, the sibling rivalry has officially begun: Evy pulled out a large nugget and dangled it before Seren with a promise that Seren could wear it and Seren tossed her chicken stars all over her side of the van. This is one day I'm happy to be a working parent!

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by GE...

Mike: I just wanted to warn you that Penny's pants are wet because I had to take them out of the dryer to dress Penny before we left, so you don't think Penny peed in case you have to hold her later.

Me (Teasing): Penny, did you pee your pants?

Penny: No, the dryer peed them.

Last night's Penny Thought

...is brought to you by: Crayola (or any other generic crayon Penny can get her hands on).

So, our family of 6 was sitting as quietly as we might dare in the last row of the Hall during last night's meeting.  Xander had fallen asleep in my arms with a booger on his nose that I didn't dare remove.  Evy was diligently paying attention to the program and forming her next comment.  Seren had collapsed from the exhaustion of kindergarten (thank goodness for small favors) and Mike was holding a colorful, heaping palm-full of broken bits of crayons, odds and ends, measuring no longer than an inch each. 

Although we encourage our children to bring along materials for the meeting, they are aware we prefer that the crayons stay home.  This left Mike wondering in bewilderment as to HOW Penny fit all of those crayons IN her Mary Jane shoe (which he had to dump them out of) AND her foot.  I wondered how she walked across the parking lot with that many crayons in there.  Penny wondered if Daddy intended to hog the crayons all night.  She didn't think that was fair, so she said aloud, "Daddy, share!"

Tonight's Penny thought...

Tonight's Penny thought is brought to you by: Crest.  So, he kids were fighting over their toothbrushes and which one got put where...I interrupted and said, " All done.  Go to bed.  I'm tired of the drama!"  Penny: "Me too!"

I worry about my 3 year old's mental health

One would think I worry about Seren instead.  No, as headstrong as that child is, I don't worry about her much.  Penny, on the other hand, might just be a freak of nature with her sick and twisted sense of humor.

She gave me my first clue when she was the tender age of 9 months and she was convulsing so bad I thought she was having a seizure.  That was right up until she gave me the biggest grin I had ever seen from her up to that point.

My second clue came last year when she had her first stomach flu.  Here we were, taking trip after trip to the bathroom so the poor little thing could vomit in the toilet.  After many trips, we got up again another time and Penny sat on the stool in front of the toilet, hanging her head over, waiting for something to come out.  I sat with her, waiting.  She turned to me and asked, "Try again?", then mimicked puking in the toilet.  When she was done with her parody, she turned to me and grinned from ear to ear, then turned to actually do the deed.  She was only two.

Tonight's clue happened in public.  While the girls were enjoying a dessert, Seren announced that she needed to go potty.  Evy decided to join her.  Penny, insisting that she was also part of the "potty club", said she needed to go as well.  Having just returned from the bathroom with her, I told her we would go later. 

She left it alone for awhile.  Next thing I know, she is sitting in the chair with her knees to her ears grunting.  I looked at her and she said, "Mommy, I peed."

I looked at her dry, plastic chair and countered, "No you didn't."

Penny grunts again, turns red, tears in her eyes from the concentration, then said, "Yes, I did.  Feel!  It's wet!"

Again, I look at her chair and it's dry.  I take her to the bathroom to ensure she would not pee herself.

This is what Penny does if I tell her "no".  I do not look forward to her going from 3 to 13.  I worry about her mental health.

Another glorious Sunday...

Today has been an adventure and it's not over yet.  First, Penny throws a colossal tantrum at Ross while shopping for new meeting dresses.  Then, on the way home, Seren is yelling at Evy in the back of the van, "EVY! STOP WIPING YOUR BOOGERS ON MY CARSEAT!"  Then, as were getting out of the car, this is what I hear:
Seren:  "Owww, EVY!"
Evy: "OWWW! Seren, why did you punch me in the face?!!!
Seren: "YOU WERE STANDING ON MY TOE!!!"
Evy: "Owwwwww...my eye hurts..."

The moral of the story:  Don't stand on Seren's toe.  In fact, don't mess with Seren, period.

Why Seren should never be taken out to dinner

We went out to dinner and as Seren waited for hers to come, she stabbed an ant to death for entertainment.  After the ant's "butt fell off" (as Seren eloquently put it), she installed the butt of the ant into the butt of her crayon.  I think those dining at neighboring tables requested relocation...

Dearest oldest daughter:

Please stop requesting to borrow toilet paper.  The word "borrow" implies that you have the intent to return it when you're done.  Once you have used it, I really, really, really don't want it back...

Last night's Penny Thought

Penny: Mommy, I want some ice cream.
Me: ARSE cream--, wait! Did Penny just say ICE cream???
Evy: Yes! Can we pick up some cake to go with it tonight?
Penny: Butt cake!
Me: BUNDT cake, Penny...*sigh*

Tonight's Penny Thought and Serenism:

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: Little Seizures (Caesar's) pizza on the dinner table.
Seren (matter-of-factly):  Mom, I'm not hungry because all of these farts are telling me that I need to go potty.

Penny Thoughts:
Penny (brings mommy over some "wings"):  Mommy! You have Bar-fly wings!
Mommy:  Do you mean BUTTERFLY wings?
Penny: Uh-huh!
Mommy: I'm glad we clarified that, Penny.

Tonight's Penny Thought is Brought to you by KFC...

So, we're having a quick dinner at KFC before dressing the kids for meeting and Penny runs across the restaurant toward the soda machine with her cup, yelling the whole way, "MOMMY, MY CUP IS OUT OF BEER!  I NEED MORE BEER IN MY CUP!"  Mommy: "ROOT beer, Penny..."

Today's Penny Thought

Is brought to you by the present from Aunt Christy:

Penny: "I want some Butt Cake!" Mommy: "BUNDT cake, Penny." Evy: "With ice cream!" Penny: "Butt Cake with Arse cream!" Mommy: "BUNDT cake with ICE cream, Penny..."

Later...Penny: "It's a PRINCESS Butt Cake!"  Mommy: "BUNDT cake, Penny..."

Xander says no

Well, at the tender age of 9 months, Xander has learned to express his negative responses by saying "Ah- Ah!" Which means "no".  If we delay too long in taking him out of his crib, we hear, "Ah-ah!"  If we're taking too long preparing his bottle, he says, "Ah-ah!"  If his sisters take something from him, he chews them out with, "Ah-ah!"  And, as the crumbs fell away from his first cupcake, he emphatically told them: "Ah-ah!"

Sarcasm

A classic example of how my 5 year old is more sarcastic than my 8 year old:

Evy and Seren were having a dinnertable discussion.  Evy asks Seren, attempting a stab at humor, "What kind of dessert do moles eat?"  I instantly think 'arse cream' (in Penny's words).  Seren answers: "Ars-ICE cream!"  Evy says, "No, worm cake!"  (She didn't get it).  Penny, "Arse cream?!"  Mommy, "ICE cream, Penny."

Penny Thoughts and Serenisms

Tonight's Penny thought: 

Penny was looking up at Daddy while sitting on his lap and gasped: "Daddy! You have a spider up your nose!"  I suppose the tarantula hairs gave it away...

Tonight's Serenism:

I enter the girls' bedroom to turn off their reading lamp while they are sleeping.  I look at Seren, who had complained that her eye hurt earlier, had gone to sleep with the teeniest wad of toilet paper crumpled up on her eyelid.  We tried to convince her earlier that toilet paper would not help her eye.  She didn't believe us...

Discoveries

You know, I love my children.  I think they are bright and, by most standards, they really are.  My oldest daughter is very, very, book smart.  My second daughter is much more street smart.  My youngest daughter will be turning three this week, but she's already much brighter than her two older sisters were at this age.  The verdict is still out on Xander, but so far he is promising.

At any rate, my eight year old is finally old enough to have a decent conversation with her.  She has a very beautiful and insightful soul.  For example, we have a friend who is dependent on a walker and is like a grandmother to her.  When Evy, my eight year old, was the tender age of five, she wrote this beautiful poem and illustrated it.  The illustration?  It was a two paned picture where, on one side, was a little girl staring out a window admiring a spring day.  The other side was of an old woman in a wheel chair, staring out the window and admiring the fall colors.  The poem indicated it was the same woman in both panes.  The depth of her understanding amazes me for a girl of her age.  That poem made me want to cry.

However, this girl has a hard time with jokes.  The most current example was from this weekend when we went to a theme park.  She is finally big enough to ride the adult rides, so we stood in line for the newest, hottest, rollercoaster.  As we were waiting, we were comparing how scared we were.  I told her that I'd bet she was so scared that she would pee her pants.  She denied it.  Then I asked, "How do you explain the puddle in your shoe?"  The funny part:  She looked!  Me: "You had to verify whether or not you peed in your shoe???"

Good morning :)

I woke up this morning to the sound of my kids playing in their room.  As I grab my smartphone and go through my email, I hear the sweet little voice of my two year old (almost 3), Penny say from her bathroom, "Mommy, I'm out of tullet paper..."  At this point, I'm really glad she didn't mention arse cream (ICE cream, Penny).

So, I grab her a refill and when I walk in to replace it, I see a cute little bare bottom girl, wearing a leopard halter top and bright pink pants that have dropped to her ankles, and messy hair to top her off.  She looked directly at me and made an elegant motion with her hand to display the empty toilet paper roll much like the models would on The Price is Right, "See, mommy, it's all gone.  You need to replace it.  The empty one needs to come off."

This is not necessarily what I want to be doing first thing in the morning, but, in other ways, I'd rather do nothing else.  The scene was just adorable :)

Today's Serenisms

We went to the lake today, up in the mountains.  While Evy, Penny, and I were swimming in the water, Seren refused to come initially, because she couldn't see her feet at the bottom because the water wasn't clear.  Then I finally just tossed her in so she would start enjoying it.  She was swimming and having fun for the longest time.

I was sitting around the shoreline in the water and playing with Penny when Seren decided to sit on my lap.  I told her that if she was still, she could feel the fish come up and nibble on her as I felt them nibbling on me.  She sat and waited.  She felt one or two nibble on her legs and giggled.

All of a sudden she screamed, jumped out of my lap, out of the water, and accused a fish of biting on her toe.  She screamed as if she was being hunted by the very creature we all know as Jaws.  Of course, Seren has never seen the movie Jaws and, after today's experience with a teeny little fish, I don't intend to anytime soon.  I tried to convince her that it was ok to come back in and the fish wouldn't hurt her.  She screamed, "But Mommy!  Fish biting my toes is CREEPY!"  Eventually I had to throw her in the lake to clean her off and she forgot about the fish for awhile.

When we got home and unpacked the van, Seren was taking inventory of what was in the ice chest.  She said, "Mom, the sodas are getting icky.  It's because the ice is melting.  We'll have to drink them all tonight!" 

"The sodas will be fine, Seren..."

Downs' Syndrome

This is our version of Downs' Syndrome at the house of Downs:

So, as Mike was making breakfast, the kids were commenting on SmartBalance not being real butter.  The container was on the table and I commented that it tastes alot like butter because it's made with whey and milk, but also with canola and soybean oil.

Mike interjects that it includes palm oil and coconut oil...To which I counter that I didn't see it in the ingredients, which I was READING off the container...of course, I tell him that I see "Palm Fruit" and he argues that it's another name for palm oil.

Then he asks if it has vitamin B1 or B12 or B5 and I suggest that he inquires of the makers of Smart Balance whether it does and if palm oil is part of "palm fruit".

THEN Seren makes the observation that I have cheesy eggs.  Goading the Downs within her, I remark I have eggy cheese.  She insists that I have cheesy eggs...

AND, to top off breakfast, as I'm sitting there, minding my own business, trying to finish my eggs...Mike pulls a pair of the girls' panties out of the washer (as he moves the load to the dryer), holds them under my nose and exclaims, "SEE!  The carpet odor remover got rid of the peepee smell!"

I have technically been off work since Monday and on vacation through today and am supposed to go back to work tomorrow.  After the refrigerator breaking on Monday, shopping all day Tuesday for a new one, spending all of our vacation money on the new refrigerator, and spending the rest of the week sick or wiping the noses of other sick and cranky people, I think I'm ready for my "vacation" of my secular job starting tomorrow.

The Pennish/English Dictionary

In Pennish: In English:
Benchin' Convention
Elegator Elevator
Arse Cream Ice Cream

Penny: "(Gasp) We're going to Benchin'!" 
Mommy: "Yes, Penny, we're going to the convention."
Penny: "We take the elegator?  Where's the elegator?!"
Mommy: "The elevator is over there, Penny."
Evy: "And if we're good, we get ICE CREAM!"
Penny:"Arse cream?!!!"
Mommy: "ICE cream, Penny."

Welp

Seren survived her first 3 days of kindergarten.  Barely survived.  She "befriended" a boy on the first day. She came home with a scraped right knee the second day.  Today, she came home with a really banged up left knee.  I was informed that her friend pushed her down both days but the teacher saw it happen today and sent him home.  Seren proclaims his innocence.  Woe to him next week if he does it again and Seren no longer proclaims his innocence.  I'm not sure that there will be much of this "friend" left to send home.

Penny Thoughts and Humor

I was changing Xander's diaper in our minivan while Seren and Penny watched from their seats.  As I was wrapping up Xander's icky diaper and he was still "commando", Seren asked if I was going to put a new diaper on him.

I replied, "No, Seren.  I will not be putting another diaper on him.  I am going to buckle him up in his carseat and he can be just as he is the rest of the day."

"WITH SHOES!" Penny chimed in, as Seren contemplated how serious I was about Xander going without a diaper the rest of the day.

Now, the part I find interesting about Penny's comment is that I never put shoes on Xander.  Why would I?  He isn't walking yet.  So, as my 5 year old contemplated whether I would really let Xander go "commando" the rest of the day, my 2 year old recognized my sarcasm right away and immediately inserted her own sarcasm suggesting that I do something else I never do as well.  What a comical visual picture she painted with that suggestion!

On the other hand, Seren probably did recognize my sarcasm, but knows that I can be crazy enough to mean exactly what I say sometimes.

In the end, Xander did get a diaper. Pun intended.

Seren can read!

So, with less than two weeks before Kindergarten, Seren finally read her first word! "Puppy." I've been working on this girl for ages. Evy read her first word just shy of age 3. I've been working with Seren on her letters and sounds since she could talk (just like Evy), but this girl is SO stubborn about it that I had not made any progress until this past year. Although, she seems to know more than she lets on. So, I took her for a ride yesterday and bought some Puppy Chow for the cats (that's a different story) and she was expressing her frustration that she couldn't read. I told her she could read; she just needed to listen. When we got home, I took out the box and she refused to name any of the letters or sound them out. Stubborn! Then, I did the practice run and insisted she follow suit. Once she figured out the word Puppy, she wanted to work on the word Chow, which she did with ease. Of course, instead of being happy that she learned how to read, she threw a tantrum for the next hour because I was right...lol...Gah! From terrible two's thru to terrible twenties...and she's only five...

I remember when Evy first learned how to read.  Her first word was "kitten."  After that, she was trouble.  She was only 3 when we were standing under a menu of a closed concession stand.  Evy looked up at the menu and read, "P-I-Z-Z-A.  Pizza! That word spells Pizza! I'd like to have some of that!"  Mike looked up at the menu, "You're right, Evy.  The word 'pizza' is up there.  Daddy sees something up there he'd like to have too." 

(Insert long pause here as Evy considers the menu).  Evy, "B-E-E-R.  Yup!  I'll bet that's what you'd like to have!"

Now Seren will be as much trouble...lol

How many girls does it take to kill an earwig?

I dunno, but at least two have tried without much success.  The smart one (Evy) decided to wrap it and take it's battered body outside.  The other one (Seren) will remain jumpy until she sees it's corpse for herself.  Uh-oh, the cat just rubbed up against her...let me scrape her off the ceiling...now she's screaming at the cat for startling her.  Good morning!

Only at Walmart

Apparently, I could not use this as an exit this time of night...

Earl Smells Elegant!

That was what Evy said when she comforted Earl (our gray cat) over his ordeal with Mike's cologne.

I think I could put it in a very popular poetic format (like "If You Give Whoever-it-is a Cookie):

If Daddy Leaves Out a Spray Bottle of Cologne

If Daddy leaves out a spray bottle of cologne
Earl might knock it over onto the floor
If he  doesn't, then he might sit on it
If he sits on it, chances are, it will spray his bottom
If it sprays his bottom, he will jump into the mirror
When he jumps into the mirror, he'll startle his brother, Grimmy
If Grimmy is startled, he'll jump (maybe onto the bottle of cologne?)
If Grimmy jumps, Earl will likely jump again
Then run as far away from the spraying cologne as possible
This will cause Evy to pick him up and comfort him
Picking him up will remind Evy how good he smells
Evy will say: "Earl smells elegant!"
If Earl smells elegant, Evy will have Daddy smell and explain the events to him
If Dally smells Earl, chances are,
Daddy will no longer want to use a cologne that reminds him of a cat's rear
But, since Daddy doesn't like to waste stuff
He might continue to use it for that purpose
After all, it is Earl, who just walked by
And smells quite elegant

Yesterday's Penny Thought

What I heard in the back of our van from Penny (our two year old) as we were driving around caused me to bust out laughing so hard listening to her.  Mike asks me what is going on back there, then suggests (because I'm laughing so hard I cannot answer) that she is yelling something about Snow White.  I got myself together enough to explain that what he heard was not "Snow White", but "smell it."  It happened as stated below:

"Penny farted..."  Yes, she still speaks of herself in the third person.

"Ewww...It stinks!"

"I smell it, mommy!  I smell it! I SMELL it!  I SMELL IIIIIIITTT!"

I suppose Penny is used to farting without smelling it, so this one took her by surprise.

Tonight's Serenism

Happened while the girls were getting ready for bed.  Seren had changed into her bedtime clothes and was about to put away her dress she wore all day away (like a good girl) back into her closet to wear again. 

Mommy: "Seren, don't hang that up.  You wore it all day; it's dirty."

Seren: " Mommy, it's not dirty.  I didn't pee in it yet."

Shopping

The things I have learned from my children this week

I have learned two things from my children this week so far: 1) A spider must be smashed with something at least twice the size of the Smasher in order for it to die properly, 2) my little Penny has a sarcastic sense of humor.

This is how the events unfolded:

Item 1 - Penny informs me that Seren has a spider Evy (my oldest) had crafted and Penny wanted to play with it.  I asked Seren to let Penny play with it.  Seren tries to hand it to Penny, Penny pretends to be scared.  Seren tosses it on the floor and yells, "Smash it, Penny!"  Penny starts to stomp it with her foot.  Seren: "Not with your own foot!!!"  Seren grabs a very large stuffed animal, about her size, and begins to beat the toy spider with it.  She hands the stuffed animal to Penny, which is about twice her size, and Penny pulverizes Evy's hand-made-from-odds-and-ends spider to satisfaction.

Item 2 - Seren was warned at dinner that since she wasn't eating hers while everyone else was eating theirs, she would be eating it while everyone else had ice cream.  Penny comments to Seren in an attempt to rub it in: "Mmmm, Seren, enjoy your arse cream!" Mommy: "ICE cream, Penny."  Daddy: "Dinner flavored ice cream, Seren."  My two year old is sarcastic.  I must be doing something right!  Although Penny has had problems pronouncing "ice cream" correctly from time to time, I wonder if she purposely used the mispronounciation in this instance...

Penny's elbow hurts

But nothing makes it better than a little toilet paper wrapped around it and a wild ride in the laundry basket, coutesy of Seren.

Tonight's Serenism conversation

Xander passes gas. Seren: Mom, Xander farted. Me: Are you sure you didn't fart? Seren: I didn't hear myself fart. Me: Maybe yours are Silent But Deadly. (long pause) Seren: No, mine are silent because I squeeze real tight when I fart. Me: So, you farted and you didn't hear it? Seren: No, Xander did it. His farts are creepy. (changes subject) Mom, I'm itchy but I'm not whining.  Whining is begging without saying please.

We really shouldn't eat out

Not only could we save some money, but we could save some face as well.

Imagine what our neighbor diners must be experiencing:

Seren peels shrimp. Asks mommy,"What IS this?" Mommy: "It's shell." Seren:"No, it is its skin!" Evy: "It's GOOD, Seren!" Evy's plate has no trace of her shrimp nor their shells...

Daddy brings Evy and Seren some Crayfish. Penny pouts that she doesn't have one. Seren and Evy gladly donate theirs to her cause. Penny donates one to the floor. Penny holds the second while trying to retrieve the first with her foot. Mommy bumps Penny's hand. Penny throws the Crayfish and tries to climb out of the booth while screaming accusations that it bit her.  Mommy and Daddy cannot contain their laughter and prepare to recreate the scene.

Mommy dismembers defenseless Crayfish to prove to Penny it is dead. Doesn't work. Daddy retrieves the one that "got away" and wound up on the floor and shoves a chopstick up it's behind to make it a prop (take note all you future heartbreakers). Daddy uses it at the girls' expense.

Finally, it's time to have dessert and Daddy dishes up the girls' favorite: green tea ice cream. Penny ends the evening with a loud: "Thanks for the arse cream, Daddy!" Mommy: "ICE cream, Penny..."

On a trip to San Fran

And Seren, wearing a battered Burger King crown, is screaming that her ears are bleeding because Cajun music is playing on Pandora.

Once the song is over, Seren begins to fling and blow ice water through her straw at Evy.  Evy reports that Seren is now dumping it on Penny.

We all cheer as Penny tries to dump her own on Seren.

Some pics of the trip

We had a day filled with adventure

We went to a theme park and wore everyone out.

The day started off innocently enough. Mike shaved his head and was looking forward to getting a bit of color on his scalp, especially after Penny, our two year old, informed him that he looked silly.  He didn't apply sunblock until midday, so we're hoping that the whiteness of his scalp reflected the sun rather than absorbed it and fried his brains.  Although, that is quite possible.

Evy, our 8 year old, had a lovely time as my partner on thrill rides.  Everyone in line around us was well aware of her having an "awesome" time.

Seren, our 5 year old, also had a lovely time.  Although everyone around us knew that her lovely time would not include any ride you couldn't put your grandma on. 

Penny had a lovely time until she did a face-plant on her run to join daddy for a ride.  Poor little thing used up every band-aid we had for her hands and knees.  She got her nose a little bit too, but not badly.  She spent the day being cheaffeurred around in our double stroller with Xander, then carried like a princess to ride each ride she was eligible to ride on.

Xander has gone mobile!  We spread out a blanket to picnic on at lunch and daddy had to keep one hand on his food while the other attempted to keep our 6 month old son off of the grass.  Xander just discovered his mobility on all fours this week.

I had a lovely day myself.  I spent much of the day going on rides with Evy or taking Granny (Seren) and her disabled sister on rides.  There were times that I was watching Xander at the stroller and had to just let Seren wait in line and ride the ride by herself.  I waited with baited breath:  Will she choose a seat and stay in it?  Will everyone have to wait to start the ride because she still can't decide on her seat?  Will everyone have to stop the ride because Granny is screaming her head off???

Turns out Seren did ok, for the most part.  The carousel ride was a little harrowing (how could that be, right?).  Well, the first time she went on, she went with Evy.  Seren decided to sit on the bench seat in the carousel.  No sooner than did the ride start, she decided to get up and walk around.  She found a horse she wanted to get up on.  "Please stay seated on the ride..." I hear the conductor say.  Seren obliges and sits back down on her bench seat.  When the ride was over, she gets off in a huff because now she wants to ride a horse.  I wait in line, carrying a poor little Penny with scraped up knees.  The conductor, a young girl in her mid-teens, wanted to see if Penny could walk.  I quickly showed her that Penny met the height requirement by standing her next to the measuring stick (like they do at every OTHER ride) then I swooped her up and put Penny on the ostrich she wanted to ride.  As I was belting her in, I heard the girl mutter that she is supposed to see the child take 3 steps.  I just let it go...but in my mind I was saying, "You want to see a child with scraped-up knees take 3 AGONIZING STEPS just because YOU can't figure out if she is big enough to handle herself on a CAROUSEL ride that she is riding WITH her parent???"  I let it go...

Seren, was running around the carousel, again, looking for the horse she wanted to ride.  I put her on the Zebra right next to me and belted her in.  Before the ride started, she was sayng, "I'm scared!"  I wasn't going to believe a girl who was up and running around on it the first time she rode it.  Yes, she enjoyed the whole ride.

Then we picnicked in the grass where Xander got to demonstrate his mobility.  I got to demonstrate my screaming skills when I discovered that the bug that I knew was crawling on me was a HUGE spider.  HUGE.  It looked like a Daddy Long Legs (same legs) but with a very big, orange, and ugly abdomen, as opposed to the very tiny abdomens that Daddy Long Legs have.  Creepy.  Mike informed me that it was actually an insect.  Creepier.  The kids happily examined the bug that made mommy scream just before Daddy smashed it into the grass, never to be identified again.  That's what happens when you creep me out, so take note, people.

At the end of the day, the kids were exhausted and fell asleep in the car.  We got home around 10.  Evy was sleepwalking to her bed.  You know how I know this?  She stood outside of the van for some time with her head cloaked under her sweatshirt to finish a cheeseburger.  Not sure why she did that, but I'm not sure why she does anything she ends up doing when she's tired.  She may function, but there is little rhyme or reason to her function at that point in exhaustion.  I really, really, hope she grows out of it.

I'll upload some pics from the trip shortly.

A Serenism is a picture that speaks 1000 words

What I took from Seren at bedtime. She was chewing on the arm while dressing the snake.

Tonight we had a Penny Thought

We took Penny, our two year old, to the park with her sisters and brother. As a bunch of young teenage boys were leaving, I overheard one say to the other,"That little girl right there called me a girl when she asked me to excuse her so she could pass."

"It's probably because your hair is long," commented his friend, then they turned to look at us, Penny's laughing parents.

"I guess she calls it as she sees it," I said. As they turned to leave, Penny ran up behind the boy with long hair, pointed at his back, and yelled to us: "What DO you call IT???"

*sigh* Serenity number 2...

I'm not sure Seren will get along with other girls very well

She just ripped off the head of a new Barbie because she loved the dress.

I wish to apologize

to those who check back on here regularly.  I haven't been able to post as often as I would like now that I'm back to work.  I do post what I can as consistently as I can.  Of course, I try to post Serenisms as soon as I have them. :) 

I would like to thank my audience for bearing with me.  I'm very surprised that my little nonsensical blog has the attention of a few repeat viewers from Russia and Australia, along with some from the United States.  I must say I am a bit flattered.  Thanks again for sticking with me.  More Serenisms to come soon!

Today's Serenism

An early one!  She said, matter of factly, "Penny, if I touch this toy, it's mine because I'm sick and I have germs."

Tonight's Serenism only cost a dime

...but it was priceless!

Evy was cleaning their room for bedtime and proudly picked up a dime.  After she boasted about her find, she rushed to put it in her money jar.  Seren objected quite forcefully, throwing a colossal tantrum.  "THAT WAS MY DIME, EVY!" she screamed, over and over. 

"Finder's keepers; losers weepers," I counseled her.  "If that was your dime, Seren, you weren't very responsible with it.  You don't leave money lying around.  You should put it away immediately, just as Evy did.  It is Evy's dime to keep."

"MOMMY!" she screamed, "that is MY DIME! I stole it from Evy this morning!!!"

Mike and I could not stop laughing.  Realizing the mistake she just made, she did not pursue the discussion further. 

Four lettered words at our house

...are not allowed.  We've been pretty good at narrowing our "curse" words down to ones involving five letters, like "Seren" and, more recently, "Penny." 

However, we have recently discovered that a four letter word has been in use around our house for the last 6 months or so.  The tone of this word may change depending on the situation.  Whenever there is a rotten smell, we say the word.  Whenever, valuable stuff gets knocked over, we say the word.  Whenever there is fur on something that was clean, we say the word.  Whenever my back or head is used as a stepping stool, I say the word.  Whenever we are trying to sleep and we are woken up time and again, we say the word.  We say this word the moment we are clearing the dishes from the dinnertable.  Finally, we say this word when his fuzzy, fluffy tail and behind makes it's way to sitting upon one of our heads,"EARL!!!"

Yes, the word is none other than the name of our gray cat, Earl. 

I really do love my second child

Seren.  Short for Serenity.  Otherwise known as Volatility.  Out of my 4 children, she requires the most attention.  So much attention, that a couple of weeks ago, my oldest asked me why I loved Seren more than the others. 

I knew this question was coming.  Doesn't every parent have to answer this question?  So, I answered, "Well, Evy, the Bible says that love covers a multitude of sins, so I have to love her more than the rest of you."  That didn't fly.  I explained further, "Evy, you know how, at school, there are handicapped children who need special help? Like the ones with wheel chairs or learning disabilities?"  Evy, "Yes." Me, "Well, those are children with 'special needs'.  Now, Seren doesn't have those kinds of disabilities, but she is disabled in a way where she thinks the world revolves around her and, therefore, she has 'special needs'."  By now, Evy was laughing hysterically. 

Special needs.  Yes, Seren has Special Needs.  Everything we do must be tailored to fit within Seren's Special Needs.  A wise passerby once said, as I was buckling my screaming children in the car, "A family is a dictatorship ruled by it's weakest member."  So true.  Usually, it would be Xander, and that is true to an extent.  But, I think Seren just allows him to reign for the time being because he's so cute.  She never fails to remind us that she is 2nd in command.  Which brings me to last night's Serenism.

Seren had been asked to clean up her bedroom floor, which wasn't very messy, and the request was met with two hours of tantrums from the 5 year old.  As promised, if the floor wasn't picked up within a certain period of time, a parent would come pick it up for her.   The rule is, if a parent has to pick it up, then whatever is on the floor only gets picked up once.  So, Mike brought in the garbage bag and picked up the floor of toys, laundry, blankets, and other cherished playthings that didn't get put away.  Seren was upset that her favorite blanket was part of the contents.  She tried to bargain with him, trying every trick she knew.  Finally, she decided to try her last resort.  She pulled out her money jar and dumped out all of the money she had: two quarters.  "Daddy, if I give you these two quarters, you'll pull my night-night out of that bag, right?"  If all else fails, try bribery on Daddy.  After all, it works with Seren, why not Daddy?

No, we are not throwing away her favorite blanket, but she did sleep through the night thinking that we have.  She'll have to earn it back.  Everything else is going to go though.

About dieting and weight loss...

I know I haven't posted about that in awhile and I just wanted to share an update.  I've lost 20lbs since I started low carbing in December and most of that was in the first month. Since then, I've gotten cocky and cheated a time or two (or three?) And have since maintained.  Well, I've been happy with the way I've been eating and take comfort in maintaining the loss, which is nice to know for the long haul. However, I still have a bunch more to lose! So, I've given myself a challenge (quiet, yet public, challenge) for the next 30 days.  Starting...when?  Tomorrow!  Or right now (I'm done eating for the day, right?) I will track my progress and then let you in on the challenge, and results!

Ok, we're going on a trip tomorrow so probably not a good day to start.  Sunday for sure.

About the bread and pumpkin soup...

Sorry all, I meant to tell you I didn't make it after all.  I have made it in the past and it was very good!  However, I went to make it this time and...SOMEONE...I won't name who...used up my can of pumpkin. Oh well...I left it up for you to try though.  I look forward to making it soon.

For Dinner tonight Pumpkin Bisque

I've made this before and it was good.  Looking forward to making it again.  Serving leftovers with it.

Sherried Cubed Steaks

Well, I made a Sherried Roast, which was good!  I didn't take a pic because I was lazy that night with dinner.  The kids ate something else and I sliced off roast later.  Plus, I didn't want you to see how messy my kitchen was.  At any rate, it didn't look much different than the picture.

Today's Evanese:

"The reason why it's called 'Memorial Park' is because under every tree is a graveyard."  Mike: "No, Evy.  There is a plaque under every tree.  They didn't bury any bodies there."

Why you should wear your seatbelt, according to Seren

Seren and I were out on our date last night when we saw a man riding the back of a pickup (in the middle of the city). Seren told me that we should always wear seatbelts because she saw one guy who was driving in a car with no doors and he wasn't wearing his seatbelt because he had cut it out. You know what happened to him? Well, he was driving home, over a bridge, that wasn't finished being built, and he fell out into the big river. And there were lots of sharks. And one bit his head off.

So, the moral of the story is, not wearing your seatbelt is suicide. If you don't wear it, there's a good chance that a shark will come bite your head off.

Farmhouse Chicken

Last night I made Farmhouse Chicken.  I used leftover, pre-cooked chicken, which cut down on cook time and tasted good.  I also cooked the rice separately for low carbing purposes. I also used a head of cabbage instead of the squash because it's what I had on hand.  The kids really liked it! It's making the majority of my lunches this week.

Boston Baked Beans

Last week, I made the recipe for Boston Baked Beans.  I made it as the recipe said and it was good!  I only sampled.  My kids loved the beans and wouldn't eat them after Mike added BBQ sauce.  ;)

Tonight's Dinner is California Salad and New England Baked Apples

Sorry about not posting recipes for a few days.  It seems to be feast or famine around here (no pun intended).

Anyways, East meets West in tonight's dinner.  I did not plan it that way, but it worked out well.  Here are the recipes.

My California Salad and New England Apples

New England Apples were made according to recipe, except I chunked up the apples and spooned the mix over the top, then drizzled the syrup over it.

California Salad was tweaked quite a bit.  I eliminated the season salt and sugar out of the dressing, added parmesan, and replaced the lettuce mixture with red leaf lettuce and parsely, dill, and cilantro. I had it for my own dinner and look forward to bringing it for my lunch tomorrow.

Ugh...a virus in the household!

3 out of 4 kids are sick.  No Serenisms...well, there are always Serenisms, but nothing terribly noteworthy.  But, there has been Eyvanese (English according to Evy).

Evy has a terrible cold or flu right now.  She has confided: "Mommy, I hope I don't get ammonia."

"No, Sweetie," I say, "You should be fine as long as you don't sleep with Seren or Penny."

"Seren and Penny have AMMONIA?!" Evy asks.

"Yes, Evy, just about every night."

Evy looks at me quizzically...

I love Evy's sense of the English language. Just last summer, she explained to me how animals stay hidden by using camel-flash. Daddy told her all about camel-flash on their nature walk.  I figured I probably ought to have a talk with daddy about the subjects of discussion on their "nature walks."

Spaghetti with Red Clam Sauce

I didn't have linguini noodles so we used spaghetti noodles. Mike made the recipe tonight and added bay leaf, basil, and rosemary as spices.  He served the clams fresh from the can so they wouldn't get cooked and tough. How was it? It was a hit. Look at the pics and see!  My plate is the one with zucchini.

Linguini with Red Mussel Sauce

That's what's for dinner tonight, but with a twist!

Asparagus Monterey Style

So, I wanted to make artichokes monterey, but artichokes aren't quite in season yet.  I found some beautiful asparagus and decided to try the recipe anyway.  I followed the recipe pretty closely, but added chopped asparagus at the end.  I was in low carb bacon and cheese heaven!

Stuffed Artichokes Monterey

Was the recipe I followed last night...