Today's Serenism is brought to you by : Honesty, the best policy, or a good reason to commit murder?

Seren says, "Here, mom," and attempts to hand me a candy wrapper.

Me: "I think you can handle your own garbage; do I look like I trash can to you? DON'T answer that."

Seren: "Well, it seems like a legitimate question. .."

Even the cat

Fell asleep during the movie

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by : The Voice of Reason.

Evy, nearly 12 and a straight A student in Honors classes, gets out our new vaccuum (which is much like our old one) and expresses in frustration:"HOW DO YOU GET THIS THING TO WORK???"

Seren, 8, asks: "Evy, have you tried plugging it in?"

Evy: * facepalm *

Today's Zany Xander moment is brought to you by: If all else fails, flush the toilet.

Xander had to come and use my bathroom because there was a fly in his bathroom.

He didn't want to use his bathroom because flies like icky places and he was afraid that when he pulled down his pants, the fly would attack his butt crack.

So, in life, when you are faced with a "call of nature", consider whether your answer is a reflection of the fear the fly flying up your butt crack.

There are always options, brave the fly, use another toilet, or a bush.

But, it's not a valid reason to pee or poop your pants.

Today's Penny Thought is brought to you by: Does this make my butt look big?

I received the best weight loss compliment ever today from my little Penny. I finally had to go shopping for new and smaller clothes today and took her with me into the dressing room. As I was trying on a pair of pants,  and loud enough for all to hear of course, Penny says: "Wow, mom! Your butt crack looks WAY smaller!"

This is the kind of Serenism that happens at 3am

It's doable

This afternoon's Serenism is brought to you by: It's doable!

We were out driving around when Evy said: Aww...Xander fell asleep on me!

Me: Welp, I guess that means when we get home, you'll have to sit there until he wakes up.

Evy: Mom!

Me: Don't worry, I'll bring you out some water.

Seren : And I'll bring you a bucket for later.

Awakenings

Last night's Serenism is brought to you by: Awakenings.

Last night after the kids' bedtime, I heard giggling in the bathroom. I opened the door to find Penny standing at the sink playing with the water and Seren standing in the bathtub behind the shower curtain, holding a pillowcase.

After they were busted, Seren said: I wasn't playing in the bathroom, Mommy, just Penny.

Me: That explains why I found you giggling behind a shower curtain, holding a pillowcase.

Seren: Well, I was trying to put it away!

Me: In the shower?

Seren scowls at me then puts the pillowcase in the linen closet.

The logical order of things

Last night's Zany Xander moment is brought to you by : The logical order of things...

Xander to Mommy: Seren is being mean!
Mommy: What is Seren doing?
Xander (in toddler speak): Serenity push me on the bed, try to make me fall off! She try to hurt me, make me die, then I will go to the doctor!
Mommy: All in that order?
Xander: Yup!

This morning's Serenism is brought to you by: Don't open the closet; you'll kill yourself

This morning's Serenism is brought to you by: Don't open the closet; you'll kill yourself!

A few weeks back, it was Seren's job to clean the bathroom floor. We discovered *this* just now. She insists she put this laundry in the hamper and Penny was responsible for the laundry under the sink.

Me: You mean to tell me that Penny dug out all of the laundry you put in the hamper and shoved it under the sink???

Seren: (insert crickets chirping here)

I'm posting this to air Seren's dirty laundry and expose the 'skeletons ' in her closet.

Healthy choices

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: The #1 lesson in marketing.

Seren was showing me the school lunch menu for May she had in her binder and all of the circles she drew to indicate her choice for that day.

She explained: Notice how on all of the days we're given a choice of a brown rice bowl. However, when you choose it, it doesn't come in a bowl and the rice isn't even brown! They just put that there because they want you to feel like you're choosing something healthy to eat.

Not to brag,  but I think she's an 8 year old genius if she's already got that ploy figured!

No car with a keypad is safe...

So, we bought an older Ford Expedition a couple of months ago with the keyless entry number pad on the door. We bought it from a used car dealer, so no one had a clue what the code was to open it that way. Mike and I didn't care because we have the remote controls. Seren had the combination figured in less than a half hour. 8 years old...

Today's Penny thought and Xanman-don't is brought to you by: Reality.

Xander, my 3 year old, was running around back and forth, often playing with a very large mirror we have against the wall but near the floor.  The poor little guy tripped and smacked his forehead against it pretty hard.

As I was picking up my crying baby boy to console him, I heard his 5 year old sister, Penny say, "It's not the portal he thought it was. .."

Evy's expert opinion is brought to you by: National Geographic

In an effort to participate in a  discussion among the kids about the quantity and quality of Daddy's farts, Evy offers: It's Daddy's animal  instinct to leave his scent everywhere he goes...

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by : Soup's on!

We're all sick over here, so we're trying to get better by eating lots of soup for dinner. Evy dumps a bit of her glass of water on herself and we all laugh.

Evy: What?! I didn't do it!
Mommy: If you didn't dump water on yourself,  then what happened?
Evy: The bowl of soup knocked the glass out of my hand!
Seren: I guess Evy has SOUP-ER powers!

Wednesday's Penny Thought is brought to you by : The Goblin King.

We were visiting with a friend who was telling Xander that he knew how Xander felt because the man also had many sisters, 8 to be exact.
Penny, who just turned 5 not long ago and has no formal education, shared a profound truth that she concluded all on her own: "Excuse me, but you needed to get rid of about 5 sisters."

Tonight's zany Xander moment is brought to you by: There's really just one explanation that makes sense...

Daddy made a pineapple cake for dessert tonight.
Penny asked: Is it pineapple upside-down cake?
Xander laughs and mumbles in his just-turned-three gibberish: Daddy spanked the cake's bottom!

I thought about it for a second and realized that's a reasonable explanation of why a pineapple cake would be upside-down.