Why on earth would he do that?

Mike says: Taking a small dog to a pet store for a harness fitting with 4 children 11 and under, is like playing Operation with one hand while playing Whack-A-Mole with the other, only the dog is barking at everyone passing by the shopping cart and the "moles" are traveling all over the store pulling things off shelves.

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by : Is tomorrow Monday?

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by : Life's Lessons.

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by : Life's Lessons.

Mommy hears Penny grunting and struggling,  then hears Penny say: "Give me my money! "

Mommy peaks in Penny's room to find that Penny has ripped an eye off her piggy bank and was trying to rip the nose off!

Mommy takes the piggy bank and asks, "May I help you?"

Penny says: "Yes, but you have to screw it to get the money out!"

Freudian slip???

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: Do I smell bacon?

We're in the car driving along when Penny asks from the backseat: Mommy, what are those lines up on the poles?

Mommy: Those are power lines,  sweetie. Don't touch one if you see it on the ground,  because it will fry you like a piece of bacon.  If it's near water, don't step in the water because that could fry you like a piece of bacon too.

Seren pipes in:  No one, but a pig, should ever go near one, ok Penny?

Today's Serenism is brought to you by: Bottoms Up!

Today was Parent/Teacher Conference day. I always look forward to these with mixed emotions. Evy is a great student, so hers is fairly predictable. Seren's, not so much. She struggled to follow directions and turn her homework in last year, but did well anyway. This year seemed to be going too smoothly. I haven't seen the contents of her backpack nearly all year, but she has insisted she is doing her homework and turning it in.
I have confirmed that Seren has been a model student so far. She even sets a fine standard in her email. Yes, at age 7 and 2nd grade, they are teaching how to use email. The teacher said the kids discovered emoticons and one sent her an emoticon of a cup of coffee first thing this morning, which she publicly shared her gratitude for, saying the boy knew her well. A few minutes later Seren says in her sweet Dennis-the-Menace-to-Mr.-Wilson voice, "Oh Mrs. Johnson...did you get myyyyyyy email?"
Mrs. Johnson looked at her email and busted out laughing when she saw emoticons of 3 frosty beers! She thanked Seren publicly for her appropriate suggestion for later today, but was careful to not share what Seren sent to her with the class. Bottoms up, Mrs. Johnson!

Love, your friend. ..

Last night's Serenism is brought to you by : Any appreciation will be appreciated.

Laundry Folds Xander

This was taken this summer.  I love that Xander is expressing his sense of humor :)

Laundry folds Xander: http://youtu.be/SIR0hajmhEU

I made a meme

Inspired by painting my nails. Enjoy!

My Naughty Native

Today's Xanman-do (or don't) is brought to you by: Third time is the charm, or is it?

Dear Xander Zane,

We know you love bees
And bees love you
Remember when you stomp them
To put on a shoe
Twice the bees weren't nice
And your foot paid the price
But this third time you should remember
To put on your underwear too.

Sorry your pee-pee hurts, Little Buddy.

XOXO,
Mom

What is a party pooper?

Today, we discovered that it is a 2 year old boy who thinks it is appropriate to poop in the backyard like the dogs do, only at someone else's house, during a graduation party...

This morning's list of Xanman-dos is brought to you by: Why you little @$%#!

Xander's Sunday morning list of accomplishments:
1) wake parents up at 4am - check
2) guzzle ice cold milk on empty stomach - check
3) puke - check
4) shower - check
5) crash on livingroom floor - check
6) have breakfast - check
7) let indoor cat outside after being told not to - check
8) take bath to wash off breakfast - check
9) dump ENTIRE bottle of dish soap in bath - check
10) drink blue bath water ensuring the runs for later - check
11) break out in hives - check
12) get soap rinsed off and mild lotion rubbed on - check
13) miss regularly scheduled meeting - check
14) use powdered sugar as talcum powder - check
15) get powdered sugar all over the diningroom -check
16) while Daddy is cleaning up powdered sugar, leave unflushed 'present' in toilet - check
17) dump whole roll of toilet paper in toilet bowl - check
18 get dressed for meeting - check
19) crawl under the bed to get the cat - check
20) get cat hair all over suit - check
21) get scratched by cat - check
22) get strapped into car seat - check
23) fall asleep in car waiting for 2nd meeting - checK

Hold it! And say wha...?

Today was a busy day; We had a Xanman-do (or don't) AND a Serenism. Today's Xanman-do is brought to you by : Hold it!

So we have been attending the convention this weekend and took the kids to play in the grass at lunch. No sooner did I leave Daddy and Xander alone and Xander dropped his pants to water a tree in front of a crowd during one of the most dignified occasions of the year.

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by. "Say whaaaaaa?"

Penny says to Daddy: We're out of toothpaste!
Daddy: I'll get you some more, but we will have to treat it like the toilet paper.

Seren, in the middle of eating dinner, stops her chewing mid-bite and waits for the explanation of how toothpaste could possibly be like toilet paper. Understanding her concern, Daddy explained that they go through toothpaste so fast it would have to be rationed like the toilet paper.

Seren seemed relieved that toothpaste had no other connection to toilet paper.

Out with the old and in with the new

Its been awhile since I've posted about Earl and Grimmy.

Those of you long time readers might remember that Earl is my so called "four letter word."  It is with a heavy heart that I say Earl and Grimmy are no more.

We had to put Earl down in May. He developed some sort of bladder crystals. No one seems to have truly pinpointed the cause of bladder crystals but the vet told me that it's very treatable among cats.

So I spent $500 getting his bladder unblocked at the vet. I spent another $500 or $600 for him to be monitored for 4 days at the vet. I spent $50 on a special bag of cat food to change Earls diet.  After one more x ray it was apparent Earl had a very thick layer of crystals in his bladder and he would need an operation to scrape the crystals out of his bladder, amongst other surgical procedures befitting a male cat with this condition.

In order to have the further surgeries done the price was $2,000 or more. The veterinarian kept telling me it was treatable and I believe them because I know of other cats who have this issue and their owners keep them alive. What I didn't realize was when the vet says the condition is treatable they mean it is if I have gold lined pockets or if I I am a veterinarian myself.

So, the simple decision was to put him down not that was the decision I wanted to make. If I had the $2,000 I truly would have spent it on him because I loved that cat. And I even pulled out a loan from my 401k to do it but the funds just weren't coming in at the times that I needed them. 

Now I'm thinking it worked out for the best because Grimmy came down with the same condition. There was no way I could afford to do the procedure to both cats. Grimmy was Earl's brother so I half expected him to come down with the same thing although I had hoped he wouldn't. Sadly we had to put him down on Sunday.

When we did put Grimmy down, I planned on rescuing two kittens from the animal shelter because I didn't feel it was fair to ask my young children ages 10, 7, 4, 2 to deal with this much grief in such a short span of time.

I have attached pictures of both Grimmy and Earl on their last day and pictures of the new kittens we got. The black and white one being Domino and the tabby striped cat, his name is George.

Tonight's Xanman-do is brought to you by: Xanman don't!

So, the kids and I were at the pool tonight having a great time. Then Xander belched yhis loud, smelly burp, pointed at me and yelled in front of God and everyone,  "YOU FARTED!"

He is *such* a boy.

Today's Xan-man-do is brought to you by : Fire in the hole!

Today's Xan-man-do is brought to you by : Fire in the hole!

So, today, Xander came running COMMANDO into the room where I was saying something I thought was: Pee-Pee a spider!

So, I asked him, "Do you need to go pee?"
He muttered tentatively,  "Yeah..."
Me: "Was there a spider? "
Xander: "?"
Me: "Ok, we'll go potty and we'll smash it."
Xander: "NO NO NO NO NO! "
Mommy:"?"
Daddy yells from another room: "Run him a cold bath, quick! He unpacked the iron and scorched the carpet,  probably hurt himself! "
Mommy asked Xander: "Did you hurt yourself? "
Xander: Yeah (then repeats what he'd been saying all along but is now undenibly clear) FIRE IN THE PEE-PEE!

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by: BUZZ OFF!

Penny to Mommy: We should build a smacking machine just for smacking flies. It's so we don't have to smack them ourselves.

Fetch!

The downside to playing fetch with your two year old son who is pretending to be a dog is the same downside as playing fetch with a dog: the slobber on the ball.

This week's Serenism is: Picture Perfect!

I came home today to realize that Seren has started her own business.   All on her own, she drew pictures and colored them, then began selling her art to our neighbors. After Seren made her first buck, Evy decided to jump in and help out by making some of her art and creating marketing materials.

So far, Seren has made $4 and already has a repeat client. She has a sound business model: pilfer the supplies from her parents and siblings, slap a drawing on it, and market the product to everyone she sees. She has ensured her low overhead by roping in cheap labor from her sister and friends. 

In less than a week, Seren has put herself in the position of marketing the business and managing the money. I'm proud of my entrepreneur!

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: chicken, we wish it was for dinner. ..but not dad's.

While putting the kids to bed and giving them hugs,  Seren said: Mom, I love you the most, next to Jehovah.

I laughed and said: I love you too Seren,  but that was very sweet and very mean at the same time.

Seren: Why? You make great chicken!

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: Say wha....???

This is the opening page of Seren's new book.

Tonight's Penny Thought is brought to you by: SHHHH! Don't tell a soul!

Mommy and Penny walk into a grocery store. 
While Mommy grabs a basket, Penny says to Mommy: Mommy, they don't know who we are.
Mommy doesn't respond right away...Penny says again, but a bit louder: Mommy, they DON'T know who we are.
Again, much louder, Penny says:  Mommy! They don't know who we are!!!
Finally Mommy says: Penny, I have no idea what you are talking about.
Penny:  THE HUMANS! They. Don't. Know. WHO. WE. ARE!!!
Mommy looks to see a crowd of eyes staring and it was so quiet the crickets began to chirp.
Mommy whispers to Penny: Shhhh!  It's our secret.

Today's Xanman-do is brought to you by: Lightning McQueen Boots!

Daddy says to Xander as Daddy mops the kitchen floor: No, Xander, stay out of the kitchen, Buddy.
Xander enters kitchen anyway and lands on his padded, diapered bottom, which was quite upsetting.
Daddy guides him back out of the kitchen.
Xanderman re-enters the kitchen, donning his mighty Lightning McQueen boots.  After all, if rain boots are made for rain, then they should be adequate for a wet kitchen floor, right? Not when a soap is involved.  It was a hard lesson to learn, even for a littleman with a diapered bottom.

Today's Penny thought is brought to you by: bedroom rivalry.

This last week we moved our family of 6 from a 2 bedroom condo to a 4 bedroom house.  We split the children into 2 rooms of 2 each (my husband insists on a man-cave, his own office, lol).  My oldest children have been marking their territory ever since the move...

10 Year old Evy writes post it for the benefit of Penny and Xander: Evy and Seren's workspace - Keep Out!
4 Year-old Penny says:  Really, Evy???  I can't even read!  C'MON!!!!

He may be cute, but...

Never trust a man wearing a Onesie and Lightning McQueen boots no matter his size.

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: Say wha...??? and plausible deniability.

Mommy spies Seren holding a bag of pork rind crumbs while standing in front of a mirror, licking her finger, dipping it in the bag, and wiping her face with her finger and says: Seren, are you painting your face with pork rinds???

Seren (turns beet red with embarrassment): NO!!!!!!

Mommy: But, I just SAW you doing it...

Seren: *grumbles and mutters something unintelligible under her breath*

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: To the Dog House with you!

Penny: Mommy, when we move, can I have my own room?
Mommy: Not for awhile, Penny.
Seren: Why not? I don't care if Dad sleeps outside in the yard.  He's loud and he stinks!
Mommy: *ROFDL*

Tonight's Penny thought is brought to you by: You asked for it!

Seren says to Daddy at restaurant: Awe! you didn't get me any fries!  I asked you for fries!

Penny (throws french fry across table and hits Seren in the temple, then throws more, wads at a time).

Seren: Penny!!!  Daddy, Penny is throwing french fries at me!

Daddy: Didn't you ask for fries?

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by: "I have a confession..."

Seren says to Evy: Here's how you can tell when I'm tired or mad, I start getting into stuff I shouldn't be into and making a mess.