Well, if you only knew this child, you would have a pretty good idea. A Seren-ism is basically funny stuff that my now 4 year-old, soon to be 5 year-old says. But, it's not limited to what she says exactly, it also extends to what she does. Really, she does not have to say a word in order to sucessfully pull off a Seren-ism.
For example, a couple of months ago I came home from work to find a very exasperated Mr. Mom. Apparently, Seren had been into everything she could get into that day. However, like most men, he didn't notice that she got her hair done, which means that she did it herself, with the scissors, in or around the bathroom, involving a mirror. Those of you who play Clue know where this was going. Those of you who know Seren also know that it could have ended up like the game of clue. So, anyways, I noticed that this little gal had stragglers of curls all over her head when I got home. Her hair was much shorter in some areas of her head than it was when I had left that morning. It was only when I had pointed it out that Mr. Mom realized that she had cut off part of the tutu on the ballerina dress that she was wearing that day. He also discovered that she had experimented on her little sister's hair as well. But the day did not end there, oh noooooo...
That night we all piled into the car and went out to eat. Seren came wearing her pink ballerina dress with customized tutu, also donning her customized hair-do. The moment we get into the restaurant, she announces, "Ï need to go potty!" So, I go with her to the ladies' room. I proceed to enter the stall and put a cover on the seat when I hear that Seren is already tinkling in the stall next to mine. "Öh no," I thought, "she didn't put a cover down...EEEEWWWW." To my surprise, Seren didn't NEED a cover. As I glanced at her feet in her beautiful dress shoes, I noticed that her feet were turned TOWARD the toilet as she tinkled. A different kind of dread filled my emotions as I finished my business and left the stall the same time she did. I checked in her stall to see what kind of mess she made - and there was no mess at all! She had perfectly executed a foward-facing, boy-style pee!!! I was quite perplexed at how perfect her aim was.
We went and sat at the dinner table and I proceeded to relate to my husband what I had just witnessed. He paused and then said, "Well, that explains the continual mess in the bathroom. She must have been practicing that one all day."
That, folks, is what we call a Serenism. And she didn't even have to say a word...
The following Serenisms are what I have logged since she was three years old:
Serenisms - Life According to Seren
Age 3
Jan 2011
Seren while in bathroom: "Mom! The toilet needs to be fixed!" Mom: "Did you plug it up?" Seren: "No, it's not working because my butt keeps puking!"
While Evy is growling and turning red in the face pretending to explode, Seren says, "Evy looks like she's going poo-poo!"
While riding in the car and looking out the window at a dog riding in another car, Seren says, "I see a dog...and it's NOT peeing!" Duly noted by Seren because the only time she sees dogs is when our neighbors take them out to do their business.
Age 4
4-27-2011 This evening's Serenism is brought to you tonight due to Seren's two faceplants in the asphalt...Evy says to a crying, sniveling, Seren: I'll make you something special to make you feel better. Seren: *sniffles* "Like a diamond?"
4-28-2011 They were driving on their way to the Doctor and Mike had not mentioned where they were going at all. Along a certain part of the drive, Seren says out of the blue: "I don't need any shots, Daddy." They make the turn off of the freeway and Seren says: "Daddy, I don't need to have shots today." With all of the Star Wars she's been watching, it has made me wonder if she thinks the Force is with her. Then they pull into the parking lot and Mike is getting Penny out of the car. Seren says: "I don't need to leave the car, Daddy." Mike gets her out of the car. They make it halfway across the lot when Seren turns around and starts running back to the car. Mike yells: "Seren! Get back here!" Seren says: " I don't need to go in because I'm not wearing my 'shot' pants!" We do not have a pair of pants for her with that designation, but any excuse to not get a shot will do!
5-6-2011 Evy likes cheeseboogers and I like fishboogers from old McDonald's. We get boogers in our nose, right daddy?
5-20-2011 We were dining at Islands when Seren caught sight of surfers on the TV. She was telling me what kind of bathing suits they were wearing: "That guy is wearing shorts. That guy is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. Now that guy has a really nice bathing suit...it's the kind that will keep his panties dry and toasty warm." I do believe she was referring to the guy in the wetsuit.
6-19-2011 Seren: Evy, we should trade pillows. You can have mine. Evy: Hmmm...let me smell yours first. (Seren takes a moment to wash the pillow in the sink then returns and gives it to Evy) Evy: Ummm...I don't think so...no, thank you, Seren. Seren: But, Evy, it's very ugly...you should have it! It has kitties on it...
6-24-2011 Evy: "I call upper bunk!" Seren: "I call unker butt!"
7-20-2011 Tonight's Serenism: (burps a really loud, toad-like, soda burp).....Ummm...ya know, that was a bird talking (in sweet, innocent, matter-of-fact voice)
7-23-2011
Today's Serenism: Evy! Stop singing that song! Just squish it out of your brain right now!
7-24-2011 Anyone familiar with Jeff Foxworthy's joke: If u see a sign that says "say no to crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up....you will love Seren's version: Hey you! Your butt is showing off!!!
8-13-2011 I must add that I love how sharing and caring Seren is. This weekend she met a woman and inquired as to why she was missing teeth. When she learned that her teeth are gone and she won't be able to get new ones like Evy does, Seren offered to give to her the baby teeth she will be losing soon as replacements for the woman. Grandpa Tom grabs any old set of teeth and sticks them in his mouth, so this should work, right?
9-25-2011 Conversation I just had with Seren: Seren,"Ya know, mama...I never did see a wooden spoon break before." Me,"It's a good thing it wasn't on your bottom, eh?" Seren,"Yeah, it broke just in time!"
-Another one: Hold on! I need to go poop this out! (runs to the bathroom).
9-27-2011 So we're sitting outside of Quiznos having lunch and I tell Seren that she's being too loud and to quiet down. She tells me that she is using her outside voice.
- Daddy says to Seren: "Seren, time to go potty before bedtime. While you are in there, please turn your pants around...and take off that extra pair of panties!"
9-29-2011 I just witnessed Seren do a perfectly executed, boy-style standing pee in the toilet...should I be disturbed? As I said, perfectly executed despite the pink ballerina dress and high heels. She also lopped off her hair today with a pair of scissors.
10-30-2011
Evy: Mommy, when you're home, where's Daddy gonna work? Me: Evy, I'll be home to have a baby. Daddy doesn't have a job yet, although taking care of you girls is a job in itself. Seren: Mommy, is Daddy's job eating?
11-22-2011
Today's Serenism......is brought to you by our shopping trip to Sam's Club.
So, we're out stocking up before the baby comes and apparently everyone else is also. Seren insists she needs to go to the bathroom so I take her and wait by the cart with the other children.
As soon as Seren runs in, she runs back out to say, "Mom! I can't go potty! All of the toilets are clogged!" Me: "They can't all be clogged; go to the next stall." Seren, very insistently says, "I DID! BUT the toilets are ALL CLOGGED WITH PEOPLE!" Me: "Then please go back and wait your turn, sweet pea."
12-12-2011
I have two Serenisms to share with you. First, you may ask, what is a "Serenism?" A Serenism is what our second child, Serenity (who goes by Seren) says. Generally, her comments reflect her blunt, yet comical perspective on life. However, Serenisms aren't limited to just what she says, sometimes a Serenism is what she does.
We had a new baby this past week and I came home from the hospital on Friday. Well, this is the first boy in our family and we chose to have him circumcised. My husband was changing the baby's diaper and Seren saw the circumcision. She inquired about it and Mike explained how the procedure was done. Seren says, "I used to have one until they cut it off, right Daddy?" Mike says, "No, you never had one Seren. Only boys have those and girls don't." Seren, "Do you have one, Daddy?" Yes, Seren...
Then this morning, I was taking Xander to the Doctor for his check up. Seren asks, "Is he going to get shots?" Me, "No, Seren, they're going to make sure he's eating good. They're going to measure him and weigh him--" "--And cut more off of his pee-pee?!" Seren asks. No, Seren...
I do just love this child...
