But nothing makes it better than a little toilet paper wrapped around it and a wild ride in the laundry basket, coutesy of Seren.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Tonight's Serenism conversation
Xander passes gas. Seren: Mom, Xander farted. Me: Are you sure you didn't fart? Seren: I didn't hear myself fart. Me: Maybe yours are Silent But Deadly. (long pause) Seren: No, mine are silent because I squeeze real tight when I fart. Me: So, you farted and you didn't hear it? Seren: No, Xander did it. His farts are creepy. (changes subject) Mom, I'm itchy but I'm not whining. Whining is begging without saying please.
Monday, June 25, 2012
We really shouldn't eat out
Not only could we save some money, but we could save some face as well.
Imagine what our neighbor diners must be experiencing:
Seren peels shrimp. Asks mommy,"What IS this?" Mommy: "It's shell." Seren:"No, it is its skin!" Evy: "It's GOOD, Seren!" Evy's plate has no trace of her shrimp nor their shells...
Daddy brings Evy and Seren some Crayfish. Penny pouts that she doesn't have one. Seren and Evy gladly donate theirs to her cause. Penny donates one to the floor. Penny holds the second while trying to retrieve the first with her foot. Mommy bumps Penny's hand. Penny throws the Crayfish and tries to climb out of the booth while screaming accusations that it bit her. Mommy and Daddy cannot contain their laughter and prepare to recreate the scene.
Mommy dismembers defenseless Crayfish to prove to Penny it is dead. Doesn't work. Daddy retrieves the one that "got away" and wound up on the floor and shoves a chopstick up it's behind to make it a prop (take note all you future heartbreakers). Daddy uses it at the girls' expense.
Finally, it's time to have dessert and Daddy dishes up the girls' favorite: green tea ice cream. Penny ends the evening with a loud: "Thanks for the arse cream, Daddy!" Mommy: "ICE cream, Penny..."
Saturday, June 23, 2012
On a trip to San Fran
And Seren, wearing a battered Burger King crown, is screaming that her ears are bleeding because Cajun music is playing on Pandora.
Once the song is over, Seren begins to fling and blow ice water through her straw at Evy. Evy reports that Seren is now dumping it on Penny.
We all cheer as Penny tries to dump her own on Seren.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
We had a day filled with adventure
We went to a theme park and wore everyone out.
The day started off innocently enough. Mike shaved his head and was looking forward to getting a bit of color on his scalp, especially after Penny, our two year old, informed him that he looked silly. He didn't apply sunblock until midday, so we're hoping that the whiteness of his scalp reflected the sun rather than absorbed it and fried his brains. Although, that is quite possible.
Evy, our 8 year old, had a lovely time as my partner on thrill rides. Everyone in line around us was well aware of her having an "awesome" time.
Seren, our 5 year old, also had a lovely time. Although everyone around us knew that her lovely time would not include any ride you couldn't put your grandma on.
Penny had a lovely time until she did a face-plant on her run to join daddy for a ride. Poor little thing used up every band-aid we had for her hands and knees. She got her nose a little bit too, but not badly. She spent the day being cheaffeurred around in our double stroller with Xander, then carried like a princess to ride each ride she was eligible to ride on.
Xander has gone mobile! We spread out a blanket to picnic on at lunch and daddy had to keep one hand on his food while the other attempted to keep our 6 month old son off of the grass. Xander just discovered his mobility on all fours this week.
I had a lovely day myself. I spent much of the day going on rides with Evy or taking Granny (Seren) and her disabled sister on rides. There were times that I was watching Xander at the stroller and had to just let Seren wait in line and ride the ride by herself. I waited with baited breath: Will she choose a seat and stay in it? Will everyone have to wait to start the ride because she still can't decide on her seat? Will everyone have to stop the ride because Granny is screaming her head off???
Turns out Seren did ok, for the most part. The carousel ride was a little harrowing (how could that be, right?). Well, the first time she went on, she went with Evy. Seren decided to sit on the bench seat in the carousel. No sooner than did the ride start, she decided to get up and walk around. She found a horse she wanted to get up on. "Please stay seated on the ride..." I hear the conductor say. Seren obliges and sits back down on her bench seat. When the ride was over, she gets off in a huff because now she wants to ride a horse. I wait in line, carrying a poor little Penny with scraped up knees. The conductor, a young girl in her mid-teens, wanted to see if Penny could walk. I quickly showed her that Penny met the height requirement by standing her next to the measuring stick (like they do at every OTHER ride) then I swooped her up and put Penny on the ostrich she wanted to ride. As I was belting her in, I heard the girl mutter that she is supposed to see the child take 3 steps. I just let it go...but in my mind I was saying, "You want to see a child with scraped-up knees take 3 AGONIZING STEPS just because YOU can't figure out if she is big enough to handle herself on a CAROUSEL ride that she is riding WITH her parent???" I let it go...
Seren, was running around the carousel, again, looking for the horse she wanted to ride. I put her on the Zebra right next to me and belted her in. Before the ride started, she was sayng, "I'm scared!" I wasn't going to believe a girl who was up and running around on it the first time she rode it. Yes, she enjoyed the whole ride.
Then we picnicked in the grass where Xander got to demonstrate his mobility. I got to demonstrate my screaming skills when I discovered that the bug that I knew was crawling on me was a HUGE spider. HUGE. It looked like a Daddy Long Legs (same legs) but with a very big, orange, and ugly abdomen, as opposed to the very tiny abdomens that Daddy Long Legs have. Creepy. Mike informed me that it was actually an insect. Creepier. The kids happily examined the bug that made mommy scream just before Daddy smashed it into the grass, never to be identified again. That's what happens when you creep me out, so take note, people.
At the end of the day, the kids were exhausted and fell asleep in the car. We got home around 10. Evy was sleepwalking to her bed. You know how I know this? She stood outside of the van for some time with her head cloaked under her sweatshirt to finish a cheeseburger. Not sure why she did that, but I'm not sure why she does anything she ends up doing when she's tired. She may function, but there is little rhyme or reason to her function at that point in exhaustion. I really, really, hope she grows out of it.
I'll upload some pics from the trip shortly.
The day started off innocently enough. Mike shaved his head and was looking forward to getting a bit of color on his scalp, especially after Penny, our two year old, informed him that he looked silly. He didn't apply sunblock until midday, so we're hoping that the whiteness of his scalp reflected the sun rather than absorbed it and fried his brains. Although, that is quite possible.
Evy, our 8 year old, had a lovely time as my partner on thrill rides. Everyone in line around us was well aware of her having an "awesome" time.
Seren, our 5 year old, also had a lovely time. Although everyone around us knew that her lovely time would not include any ride you couldn't put your grandma on.
Penny had a lovely time until she did a face-plant on her run to join daddy for a ride. Poor little thing used up every band-aid we had for her hands and knees. She got her nose a little bit too, but not badly. She spent the day being cheaffeurred around in our double stroller with Xander, then carried like a princess to ride each ride she was eligible to ride on.
Xander has gone mobile! We spread out a blanket to picnic on at lunch and daddy had to keep one hand on his food while the other attempted to keep our 6 month old son off of the grass. Xander just discovered his mobility on all fours this week.
I had a lovely day myself. I spent much of the day going on rides with Evy or taking Granny (Seren) and her disabled sister on rides. There were times that I was watching Xander at the stroller and had to just let Seren wait in line and ride the ride by herself. I waited with baited breath: Will she choose a seat and stay in it? Will everyone have to wait to start the ride because she still can't decide on her seat? Will everyone have to stop the ride because Granny is screaming her head off???
Turns out Seren did ok, for the most part. The carousel ride was a little harrowing (how could that be, right?). Well, the first time she went on, she went with Evy. Seren decided to sit on the bench seat in the carousel. No sooner than did the ride start, she decided to get up and walk around. She found a horse she wanted to get up on. "Please stay seated on the ride..." I hear the conductor say. Seren obliges and sits back down on her bench seat. When the ride was over, she gets off in a huff because now she wants to ride a horse. I wait in line, carrying a poor little Penny with scraped up knees. The conductor, a young girl in her mid-teens, wanted to see if Penny could walk. I quickly showed her that Penny met the height requirement by standing her next to the measuring stick (like they do at every OTHER ride) then I swooped her up and put Penny on the ostrich she wanted to ride. As I was belting her in, I heard the girl mutter that she is supposed to see the child take 3 steps. I just let it go...but in my mind I was saying, "You want to see a child with scraped-up knees take 3 AGONIZING STEPS just because YOU can't figure out if she is big enough to handle herself on a CAROUSEL ride that she is riding WITH her parent???" I let it go...
Seren, was running around the carousel, again, looking for the horse she wanted to ride. I put her on the Zebra right next to me and belted her in. Before the ride started, she was sayng, "I'm scared!" I wasn't going to believe a girl who was up and running around on it the first time she rode it. Yes, she enjoyed the whole ride.
Then we picnicked in the grass where Xander got to demonstrate his mobility. I got to demonstrate my screaming skills when I discovered that the bug that I knew was crawling on me was a HUGE spider. HUGE. It looked like a Daddy Long Legs (same legs) but with a very big, orange, and ugly abdomen, as opposed to the very tiny abdomens that Daddy Long Legs have. Creepy. Mike informed me that it was actually an insect. Creepier. The kids happily examined the bug that made mommy scream just before Daddy smashed it into the grass, never to be identified again. That's what happens when you creep me out, so take note, people.
At the end of the day, the kids were exhausted and fell asleep in the car. We got home around 10. Evy was sleepwalking to her bed. You know how I know this? She stood outside of the van for some time with her head cloaked under her sweatshirt to finish a cheeseburger. Not sure why she did that, but I'm not sure why she does anything she ends up doing when she's tired. She may function, but there is little rhyme or reason to her function at that point in exhaustion. I really, really, hope she grows out of it.
I'll upload some pics from the trip shortly.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
A Serenism is a picture that speaks 1000 words
What I took from Seren at bedtime. She was chewing on the arm while dressing the snake.
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