Pork and Potatoes

Made this for dinner last night and it was a hit!  Made it with a ham butt in a roaster oven.. It was great!

The story behind why I will have a frozen glass of beer in my hand the rest of the night...

You see, it is because I have become greatly depressed over a severe injustice.  I have come to the conclusion that only beer in a frozen glass will solve the problem.  I realize it's a temporary solution, after all, I must retire for the night sometime and then the pain will begin again.  What is this injustice I am brooding over?  The fact that I was troubleshooting the ice maker in the Freezer and put my finger up in it to feel if there was ice and...I got BURNT by a #%&* HEATING ELEMENT!  In the FREEZER!  My finger is developing a blister as if I touched a stovetop...and that is why I will be holding a frozen glass all evening...so, it might as well be filled with beer!  So, when life hands you a frozen mug because you burnt your finger, at least fill it with beer.  #LFMF

On the way to school...

Already out the door and down the street with the stroller, Mike: "Earl!"

Good mornin'!

Me: "EARL!"  Earl: "What?"

The trigger that causes babies to poop their diapers

After 4 children, I'm convinced that I have the ultimate solution to a constipated baby:  TAKE THE TRASH OUT.

I have found that whenever the trash is taken out and a clean liner is fastened, one of the first items to make it in the can is a poopy diaper.

It may seem to you that these two things are completely unrelated, but mark my words, it is true!  I've had days (even Mike would vouch that he has had days too) when I have taken out the trash just because it was full, replace the liner, and then a kid needs a diaper that they didn't need before.  It's not any diaper, it's the raunchiest diaper ever!  Some diapers have been so bad that I would take the garbage AGAIN just so I wouldn't have to smell it.  I'd replace the liner and then go on about my day.  Soon after...there's another poopy diaper.  This has happened with every kid.  You get the idea...

Well, I only bring this up because I was warned when I got home that I might consider taking the garbage out because Xander had produced a few very smelly diapers.  I'm at the point that I don't take the garbage out for that reason anymore because it stinks like dirty diapers no matter what I do.  I take it out when it is full.  So, tonight, when it was full, I took it out.  An hour later, Xander christened the clean trash liner with the predicted poopy diaper. 

Yesterday's Serenism is brought to you by: McDonald's.

So, I was watching the kids yesterday afternoon because Mike had to report for jury duty.  After I was finished picking up our order from the drive-thru, I parked the van to distribute the order to the hungry vultures seated behind me. 

As I was taking a sip of my iced tea, Seren commented, "Mommy, you should never drink and drive.  You should always park first, THEN drink, right?"

Me, "Yes, Seren, you are correct, but that doesn't apply to any drinks you can order from McDonald's..."

Your future is right before you...

We were having breakfast this morning at our preferred cafe.  We were all looking forward to it after being driven stir-crazy by a sick household all week.  I was happy to not have the responsibility of making coffee or breakfast, since I'm the last to catch the bug in the house.

I ordered my usual Eggs Benedict.  Mike ordered his usual as well, Country Fried Steak.  Evy, age 9, was set upon the adult plate of biscuits and gravy. Seren, age 5, and Penny, age 3, argued over sharing a waffle or french toast.  Seren couldn't make up her mind.  Penny wasn't sure what she wanted, but she really like the sound of the word "waffle" and was convinced that it wouldn't disappoint her.

We received the coffees and water we ordered. Xander, who just turned a year old, tried to help himself to a cup, any cup, while Seren and Penny were taking advantage of our distraction by pilfering the jams and jellies.

Thankfully, breakfast came when it did.  We were trying to keep the "natives" tame.  Xander got his fruit bowl first and the french toast came next to Seren and Penny.  Penny was just shy of throwing a tantrum over Xander's bowl of fruit when my Eggs Benedict, Mike's Chicken Fried Steak, then Evy's Biscuits & Gravy made their appearance.

For awhile everyone seemed to be happily eating their food.  Xander was thoughtfully considering the flavor of the Honeydew while the scrambled eggs Evy shared with him sat and cooled. Evy was munching on the hash browns and bacon from her very own adult entree with delight.  The plate of biscuits with gravy waited beside her for their turn to be consumed.  Penny was enjoying her french toast that was topped with an ice cream scoop of butter and surrounded by a moat of syrup. Being one of the last in the house to be in the throws of a cold, she insistently tapped Mike's arm until I produced the required wipee for her nose she asked him for.  Seren had long since consumed her sausage and was about to move onto her french toast, which was in the same condition as Penny's, when she announced to the whole restaurant that she needed to go potty. During all of this, Mike and I were swiftly trying to scarf down our food and coffee during this short time of peace.  Predictably, it all went down hill from here.

I got up to let Seren out to use the girl's room.  Penny followed behind her and I sent Evy with them as insurance that if anyone wasn't cooperating, I would hear about it.  They were warned that the whole restaurant shouldn't hear it in the form of a scream.  As good girls, they were compliant.  Xander silently put scrambled egg in his mouth, then spit it over his high chair and onto the floor for his own amusement as we waited for the girls to get back.  I reminded him that I am not amused by such actions.

After the girls were seated at the table, they worked on finishing their meals.  Mike warned Seren that finishing her breakfast meant more than just dipping her fingers in the syrup and sucking it off.  A few minutes later, Seren commanded the attention of her dining neighbors with a loud shriek and followed it up with the details that Penny blew her nose in the wipee she was given and was trying to wipe the contents onto Seren's arm.  Penny gave all a demonstration immediately after the announcement.

Once Penny was chastised, Seren happily slurped just her syrup with her spoon.  Penny, banned from wiping Seren's arm with her snotty wipee, began wiping the entirety of her spoon with it.  Mike's patience was being tested.  The wipee was confiscated and the two young ladies were reminded that they had forks, food to eat with them, and it was in the best interest of their welfare to do so. 

Meanwhile, Evy dumped salt and pepper onto her biscuits and gravy, picked at them, and complained that they were too salty and peppery for her to eat.  Seren was curious about them and asked for a sample.  She declared that she would get those next time.

During the course of our meal, two young lovebirds were seated in the next booth over.  They sat together on one side, so close the woman was sitting as close to the wall as she was with her partner. Although, they had the best view of what was going on at our table, they politely ignored the chaos. 

They looked as sweet and happy as Mike and I were together B.C. (Before Children).  I wanted to warn them of their impending doom:  "Please sir, do sit on your own side of the table.  If you continue down this path, well, your future is right before you..."

I said nothing, leaving them to figure it out for themselves.  We quietly left the restaurant.  Well, as quietly as a family with four small children could.