Monday's zany Xander moment is brought to you by: "SHHHH! I'm trying to sleep here!"

We took a trip to the coast to unwind and stayed at a motel. Evy, my 12 year old, and Xander, my 4 year old, were sharing a bed. I woke up to Xander screaming and yelling at Evy in the middle of the night, but soon fell asleep after he quit.

Mike had insomnia and explained the situation over breakfast the following morning:

Evy ripped a very loud fart while she was sleeping, which woke Xander. Xander sat bolt upright, looked around at where the loud noise came from, discovered it came from Evy and Evy had his pillow.

Xander rips the pillow right out from under Evy, then proceeds to beat Evy with it while chewing her out by screaming. Then he lays on the pillow and falls promptly asleep.

The end.

First things first

I'm so happy I helped Seren with her spelling. She kept transposing the "s" and "c" in "insect".

Tonight's Zany Xander moment is brought to you by: Can't touch this!

Xander gets out of the shower and, since he's 4, I'm helping him find his clothes. While he's waiting, he pinches his nipples and says: "I have boobies!"

I correct Xander and say: "Xander, you're a boy, those are nipples."

Xander: "Girls have boobies!"

Me: "Yup."

Xander, slaps my 'boobies' and says: "They're BIG-ANTIC!"

Today's Serenism is brought to you by : Honesty, the best policy, or a good reason to commit murder?

Seren says, "Here, mom," and attempts to hand me a candy wrapper.

Me: "I think you can handle your own garbage; do I look like I trash can to you? DON'T answer that."

Seren: "Well, it seems like a legitimate question. .."

Even the cat

Fell asleep during the movie

Tonight's Serenism is brought to you by : The Voice of Reason.

Evy, nearly 12 and a straight A student in Honors classes, gets out our new vaccuum (which is much like our old one) and expresses in frustration:"HOW DO YOU GET THIS THING TO WORK???"

Seren, 8, asks: "Evy, have you tried plugging it in?"

Evy: * facepalm *

Today's Zany Xander moment is brought to you by: If all else fails, flush the toilet.

Xander had to come and use my bathroom because there was a fly in his bathroom.

He didn't want to use his bathroom because flies like icky places and he was afraid that when he pulled down his pants, the fly would attack his butt crack.

So, in life, when you are faced with a "call of nature", consider whether your answer is a reflection of the fear the fly flying up your butt crack.

There are always options, brave the fly, use another toilet, or a bush.

But, it's not a valid reason to pee or poop your pants.