My husband is not the ogre he pretends to be...

From the moment we first started dating, Mike warned me that he never wanted pets. He hates the smell, the fur, etc., etc., although he loves animals in general.  When I learned of this, I seriously had to consider whether I was willing to live without pets for the rest of my life.  I decided that he was worth it and some months later we married and moved into an apartment where pets were not allowed.

Well, when we moved to these apartments, we had only been there a few weeks when we discovered a severely emaciated stray cat.  Pets or no pets, I am not one to let an animal starve to death.  I was glad to find out that neither was he and we went to the store and bought this cat all sorts of canned catfood, crunchies, etc.  We even designated a bowl for him to eat out of right in front of our doorstep.

It turns out, as our emaciated kitty started to get healthier, we found he had to fight off other cats to eat the food we were trying to feed him.  Mike would have none of that, so he would bring the kitty in to eat his food for a few minutes then kick him back out.  Soon these visits lasted hours, then evenings, then entire nights.  The cat we used to address as kitty became Kitty Bear.  Eventually we moved and took him with us.  Mike wasn't there when I took the cat to the vet and had him put to sleep.  At the time, he assured me that he already said his good-byes when the cat fell ill and he packed him into the car to go.  Looking back on it now, I can say that was probably true, but also that he probably wouldn't have kept his composure if he was there during the last moments.  I can say for certain that even ten years later, that stray was, and probably always will be, Mike's favorite cat.  I wash my hands of any responsibility for such a strong attachment forming, other than buying food to feed a starving cat. 

However, since Kitty Bear, we have not found ourselves catless.  I take full responsibility for that.  It was I who brought home our current cat, Thissy.  Thissy is probably the most boring cat we have ever had.  Well, her lack of knowledge and/or intelligence can be entertaining on its own.  However, most of the time we find ourselves laughing at her and not with her.

For example, since we have had Thissy, she has not been outdoors much.  This is not because we won't let her, it's because she's too scared to go outside.  She started going outside a couple of years ago, probably because of another stray cat that showed up at our door, Ricky.

Ever since we have had Thissy, Mike has made it clear that he doesn't want anymore cats - ever.  Well, after boring Thissy, I'm not sure I want anymore either.  Then Ricky shows up one day.  Yes, another stray shows up at our door.  Mike discovered him while he was getting ready for work.  A poor little, four month old kitten was mewing at our patio door, which faces a busy street.  The cat was as hungry as could be.  Mike took him right in.  Me, "Dear, I thought you didn't want another cat..." Mike, "That's true, but this cat is cute!"  So, Ricky was our guest for 6 months and then disappeared not too long after he was neutered. Can you blame him?

Anyways, 18 months later and our girls are still upset about his disappearing act.  Really, Thissy is just not a fun pet for them to have.  Mike and I have talked about getting a small dog or a kitten and it's always the same thing: "I don't want any more pets!" But, the truth came out last summer when Mike had his surgery and he was under the influence of oxycontin (otherwise known as Truth Serum for Mike).  We were passing by a Free to Good Home sign with the picture of two black kittens.  He insisted that I call to see if they were still available.  Ricky had just disappeared a few months before and I'm pretty sure he was missing the little guy.  Well, someone already snatched up the pair of black kittens and we've been stuck with just Thissy ever since.  Until...

...I saw a headline in the paper on Sunday: Two Kittens for the Price of One at our local animal shelter.  I mentioned it to Mike. His response: "Er...uh...TWO kittens???" "Well, we're only looking and we don't HAVE to get two kittens..." I said.  "Now, why do we want kittens?" Mike asks.  "Because, dear, it's been almost two years since Ricky showed up at our door and our kids still miss him terribly.  Thissy just isn't all that engaging." He snorted in agreement at that statement then said, "Has it really been two years already?"  Yes, it had and both of the other girls had recently cried about missing their buddy, especially after meeting a neighbor's cute kitten.  Mike had met it also and had agreed to entertain the idea of another kitten sometime next spring. But, the special was going on now...

...So, I quietly packed the cat carrier in the car without the kids being any wiser, taking note of my husband's raised brow and smirk."Just looking, eh?" "Yes you are, my dear. Just in case you see any you like," I say.

Grumble, grumble, grumble...yet he got into the car and drove us there anyway, despite the kids being extra obnoxious with intolerable behavior. I was careful not to let on what we were doing, just in case he decided to turn around or change his mind for some reason.  He drove on anyways. He parked the car and went inside with the checkbook. Ten minutes later he was back to the car, opening the doors, and announcing to the kids that he needs their help picking out kittens. After much meeting and greeting, we finally settled upon two rambunctious brothers that seemed to have the constitution to put up with our brood despite their youth - and the youth of our children.

Mike is not a paperwork guy, but he was happy to volunteer to complete it and pick out names: Bash & Crash. He was pleased with the price too: $40 for two fixed males, shots, licenses, and microchips included.  So far, he's played with the kittens more than our kids have :)

Honestly, I cannot say that he genuinely wanted the kittens or that he's happy they are a part of our family.  However, I can say that he has finally had his revenge upon our other cat who has chewed through every computer cord we have purchased for his laptop.  The kittens may or may not give him much satisfaction, but the fact that our other cat is highly upset about this whole arrangement has.